Since its inception the Dennison Hilly 10 mile TT has been one of my favourite events on the calendar, last Saturday was no exception.  Travelling over to Moneyslane I hummed all those traditional cyclists hilly tunes, ‘Climb Every Mountain’, ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’, ‘The Hills Are Alive To The Sound Of Music’, and ‘Shout To The Top’.  With an aire of anticipation I turned into the car park of the Ulster Arms and as expected saw the normal hilly crew.  Mr Buns was giving the event a miss, he told me why but I can’t remember what he said, anyhow it was very good of him to offer to marshal.

 

Further glancement showed that the normal crew had been joined by the likes of Stevie Goan, Aaron Commissaire and Liam the Kiver.  However, only Stevie had entered, the other two offered up lame excuses. Ah right!  Out of the bushes came the one known as Specialized, obviously relieving himself after the previous nights ten bottles of that fine wine, Cote de Ventoux.  The whippet was twitching to get back into action, even with a broken collar bone he made the trip to Moneyslane, then rode up to Turleys to help with the marshalling…..yes…the little whippet turned up with broken collar bone and marshalled, just as he has done for the last two Wednesday nights….yet many of you just sit at home, stop Lance, this is no time for a sermon, it is a joyous reflection of the Hilly 10.  Teenage sensation Matt Adair was buzzing, he was just outside the betting for the win, and taking it so serious that he sent for Agnes to come from the homestead with a hand cut slick for the front wheel.

 

Jon the Englishman was very excited, he has been coaching a rider over the last few months, new to the Club, Richard Alhadeff, Richard signing on just before the start.  Smilin Simon was looking forward to the trip up the Col de Moneyslane and at this point was joint favourite in the betting with Gareth Rogers, Gareth returning to the slopes of Slane for the first time in a couple of years and my tip for the top.  I almost forgot, also present in the car park was la petit fleur, yes, fresh from the Junior Tour was young Pete, as ever tittering with nervous expectation and hoping that his hair gel wouldn’t show though his helmet just like the way Jonny Beers does.  And then it arrived.  Across the rough stones of the car park came the pink missile, an aged old Raleigh racing bike piloted by the new shaped Irish Downhill Elite ace, star Gareth McKee.  Gareth only lives a back wheels throw from the Slane.  I am sure the all action, fully equipped roadie type may have chuckled at Gareth, sitting on the ancient machine in tee shirt, baggy shorts and training shoes, however the pink bomber was about to give two fingers to all those who stayed at home cleaning their expensive all technical bikes that they don’t take out in the rain, except on Sunday mornings before 1pm or once a year to Majorca. Slap.

 

Ok time for the off…..Ivor made his way to the site of the Depart as the local loyalists wondered what the hell was going on…..though they seemed to have hung out flags to welcome the Club, very nice of them to.  I made my way to the top of the opening climb, the Cat 3 Col de Wee Barn, and was joined for some expert commentary by the whippet.  First rider past us was Matt, the young powerhouse looking at home as he dance on the pedals in his white socks.  Next, the picture was not so nice, Specialized appeared in view with the mouth already open half a mile wide, though he did manage a smile as he went by, then spat out about twenty flies.  Smiling Simon was next to go past, smiling yes but I somehow think this was a cover for a pained look.  The wee flower also went past, he looked in good form.  Gar McKee easily tackled the opening climb, the pink missile clinging to the road like a slug to my lettuce.  At this point the whippet departed for Turleys, I somehow think that he was expecting to go to the pub!  Before I went to on up the Col de Slane I watched Steve Goan go by….then it was away at full speed, well as fast as the oul Hyundai will go up a hill, to my marshal point at Gransha cross roads.

 

Going up the main climb I passed the riders on stuggle to the top of the first summit, that was until I passed one rider going back down.  I thought, he is on a good time, or else he has just packed, yes the wee flower was on his way back after not even making it to the top of the first climb.  I found out later that he was afraid of heights and also he had wilted in the extreme heat.  Thankfully I arrived at Gransha Crossroads before the riders went past, what a superb place to view the action.  A local stopped to ask me if there was a cycle race on as he had just come from Dromara and had seen a number of people in yellow jackets with a sign saying cycle race.  I told him that indeed it was a cycling event, Banbridge CC’s annual Hilly 10, to which the local relpied:

Boys oh, thayts a qkewer yon rud ti sykle yon, tis wall thit the soyn ers oot…the sort of language spoken by the wobblies, sort of Ulster Cycle Scots.

 In otherwords he said:

I say, what a spiffin hilly road to cycle on, one is overjoyed that the sun is out.

 

Wooosh, the riders began to pass me on their way down the hill.  The most extreme was Stevie Goan who tucked his testicles either side of the cross bar and a high speed style as seen in the Tour de Farce.  Also tucked well in was Richard and Simon, Specialized made sure his mouth was shut when he saw me with the camera.  Gar McKee was now at home, going downhill at high speed, pink woooooosh, the Raleigh was at the limit of speed.  Sorry, I forgot to mention Matt, white wooooosh Matt.  Last to go past was Gar Rogers, at superb speed, I thought my tip is going to win.  And nback they came.  Matt went by me without any trouble, dancing on the pedals like a roadie full of red bull on a Sunday morning.  Specialized dragged two lorries up the hill in his slipstream, the Ballycross Wine Merchant briefly easing off the pace as he went by, then kicking back into action at the thought of getting home to watch the GP qualifying and finishing off the remainder of the previous nights wine.  Simon easily went up the hill, thought I couldn’t see how much pain was in his face, this hidden by his Specialized sunglasses as he rode his Specialized bike in his Specialized socks….it seems that he too is sponsored by Eamon McConvey!  Richard powered his way up the hill, though little did I know that at this point he was easily the fastest rider on the course.  Stevie Goan struggled by me and then Pink woooosh, yes Gar McKee wnet by, changing gear mid hill and then going passed Brother Goan, good grief  I thought, is young McKee on some illegal substance as the Raleigh charged up the hill as if powered by Poweraide mixed with the Downhillers favourite, aftershave.  Last to go by was Gar Rogers, slightly struggling in the heat and shocking the local women by exposing his hairy chest…..it seemed that Liam the Kiver was using Gar’s slipstream to drag him back to the finish,….aha ha….thats why Gar was not on form, he was being dragged backwards by the Kiverman.

 

And so I sped back to the finish, the oul Hyundai going downhill just as fast as the oul Raleigh.  At the finish the sight was one of relief and sweat, with excuses being made…and Zooropa wasn’t even there….I still haven’t found what I’m looking for, nudge nudge wink wink say no more.  The time are listed below, I couldn’t be arsed going over them, only to congratulate Richard on taking the Dennison title, with young Matt runner up and Simon third. Wooooosh well done to Gar McKee for such a great time, the Ballyward ace has promised to bring the Raleigh to a few more Club events, it remains to be seen if he will be joined by Johnny or Davy….go on lads you can do it.  As Ivor and Wilbur confirmed the times everyone headed for home and I headed for the Windy Gap, now there is a funny name…..the sort of thing that was infront of Rogers face in the TT last Wednesday night.

 

And finally Cyril….many thanks to all who supported the event and especially to those who marshalled….hopefully riders from the new Club will support the event next year,,,the latest name for the new club that I have been given is WDW MTB…

View Photos

 

Results

Dennison Hilly TT

1 Richard Alhadeff                    27.05
2 Matt Adair                            28.43
3 Simon Curry              29.26
4 Gareth Rogers                       29.54
5 William Mulligan                    30.10
6 Gareth McKee                      30.21
7 Stephen Goan                        33.00
8 Pete Lilley DNF